Full Circle
by rachgreengeller
Summary: Susan has left her for another woman. Can Carol find the love she is looking for in a very unexpected , but familiar place? And what havoc will it wreak on his life?
1. Default Chapter

Carol watched as Susan packed the last of her things. A cab sat outside in the rain , a very fitting metaphor to the end of her marriage. A tear formed in her eye as she stood and watched her wife, close the suitcase.

Pain , so this is how it felt. She remembered the first time she laid with Susan. She had been looking to find something else. It wasn't that she didn't have love, she did. He just didn't have what she needed anymore.

"Need any help?' Carol asked softly .

"I'm fine." Susan answered nonchalantly. "Any mail comes , just send it to my new address or I 'll be by to pick it up." she said as she got up to hug her. "It just would be better this way." she said quietly.

"Better for who?" said Carol bitterly. "I can't believe you're leaving me. " she said as she hung on to her.

"it was over a long time ago," said Susan. "We have some nice memories and we have our Ben too." she smiled.

Carol retorted bitterly. No Susan, I have Ben with Ross , not you. We were never a couple in the eyes of NY law. You were never put on his birth certificate as his mother. At lease I can use that fact to hurt you now that you have hurt me."

"You are so childish and petty, just like that ex husband of yours." Susan spit out.

"He never left me for a girl who was half my age. Someone I claimed I was their mentor. Mentor hah, more like , who I want in my bed!" Carol yelled.

"Jennifer knows me, and Jennifer loves me , and Jennifer doesn't have any stupid hang ups." said Susan. "She reminds me of the way we used to be."

"I'm sorry I grew up. I can't be that hanging out in the book store and the coffee shop Greenwich village lesbian that you apparently still are." Carol complained. "I have a son who is going to be a teenager soon."

Susan picked up her suitcase. "Well I tried to be civil, but you don't want to be. I will be by to pick up the rest of our stuff once Jen and I have our own place. Carol, please I want to be your friend. I even wanted you to like Jen. She is so wonderful and creative." Susan said as she held on to Carol's hand. Carol immediately pulled away.

"I don't want to be the all loving and all forgiving lesbian. I want to be the bitter spouse who was dumped for another girl." Carol said. "So if you are hoping that we can all be friends and all sleep together, forget it."

"I tried Carol. I really did." Susan said as she closed the door. Carol laid her face against the doorframe as she traced the wood with her fingers. The rain poured against the window panes as the silence echoed. Carol was alone.

She sighed. Ben wouldn't be home for a few days. So this is how it felt. Was this the great payback for what she did to him? She left him on a stormy night as well. Yeah he did alright for himself. A beautiful fiancee and a gorgeous daughter. But in the beginning , there were tears and accusations and finally a heart wrenching confession that she was gay. She had done it , she had totally destroyed a man. Her species would be proud.

Carol looked at the wedding picture. So full of hope and so full of love. Her parents never showed up, so who gave her away? Her ex husband that's who, the father of her child, someone who said he would always love her .

She needed someone right now. Someone to take her pain away. Someone who would hold her and let her cry. She needed someone who knew exactly what it was like to have the person they love leave them.

She went to the phone and punched in the number. "Ross? Hi It's Carol. Are you busy? Could you come over? Susan just moved her things out."

She slowly put down the phone. She would get through this . Like a lesbian Scarlett O 'Hara after all tomorrow would be another day. There was a funny feeling when she heard his voice say he would be right over. She did something she hadn't done in ten years. She ran to her bathroom and put on some make up and fixed her hair and it was all for him.

I forgot all of these characters are the property of the Bright Kaufmann and Crane Production company. You put that in stories and it becomes second nature . This is an idea I had been playing with for a while. Hope you enjoy it.


	2. The Kindness of a Non Stranger

Ross sat on the couch and grabbed his keys. Rachel had gone away since Sandra was sick and brought Emma with her to cheer her ailing mother. This call was very disturbing to him. Carol had been abandoned in the very same way he was eleven years ago. He knew her pain.

The cab ride over was an uneventful one. Reaching the familiar apartment, he got in the elevator. Carol greeted him at the door as she melted into his arms.

"Am I a bitch Ross? Is this why this happened?" she said through her tears. He stroked her back and allowed the tears to flow. He couldn't say how he felt back then is what she deserved , he could only feel sympathy because it was the same way she left him.

"Carol , you are not a bad person. You are kind and generous and loving." Ross said sweetly.

"No I 'm not . I am evil and vicious and cruel. The universe is paying me back. This is its retribution for the pain I caused you." she moaned. "You have the life you wanted. You have a beautiful woman and a beautiful daughter and son. You have finally gotten everything I couldn't give you."

"Carol , you are hurting and lonely. I think you just need to rest and forget about this tonight. Rachel is at her mother's , why don't I stay here with you since Ben is away. I remember how hard it was for me, and just having a friend there helps." he said as he patted her hand.

"Maybe you're right. I hope it's not going to cause any trouble for you with Rachel." said Carol concerned.

"Nope, she's at her mother's now for a few days. I will call Monica and let her know in case she calls though. I'll stay right here on this couch." Ross said. "Tomorrow we'll take you to Monica's."

Carol got up from the couch and went to the linen closet . She couldn't believe this was the same jealous and petty husband of ten years before. He was sweet and kind and he really did care about her.

A smile curled around her lips. "Thank you for everything Ross." she said .

"Carol, I have always said I cared for you. I mean you gave me the best son I could have. What we had was special, uhm you were the first woman I ever uhm …"

"I know what you are going to say. I hope to God that Rachel realizes what she has , you are a special man , Ross Geller." she said sweetly as she moved her face close to his. Pulling away, he said. "Well Carol, I am really tired. I better get some sleep , okay. See you in the morning." Ross said as he put the blanket around himself and closed his eyes.

Carol spent the longest time staring at him. It had been ages since she had been with a man. Ten years to be exact. Something inside her stirred. She wanted to take her long fingers and run them through that thick black hair. The Ross she had was a mere boy, a candidate for a masters degree. This was Ross the man, who had been through life and still looked good. She pulled the blanket further around him and sweetly kissed him on the cheek.

Carol crawled into the now empty bed. She pulled the sheets around herself and tried to remind herself that no one would be crawling in next to her. Her eyes drifted shut from the mental exhaustion. At least in her sleep she could escape her torment.

Carol was in a dark room lit with candles . Her body had been draped with a silk nightgown. It was white and long and cradled her breast. A hand reached over and held one of those breasts. At first in her reverie she smiled thinking it was Susan. The hand cupping the breast was not the soft and gentle touch of a woman, the hand appeared to be almost tanned ,dark and hairy. It was a man's hand, but it knew where she could be touched. It felt so good and Carol began to moan.

In the dream , she felt lips touch her own. His lips brushed hers and that was where she knew them from. His unshaven chin burned her face and then she laid down as he slowly kissed her breasts. Was this what a man felt like? She felt him next to her stomach and it felt like no feeling she had ever known. This man pleasured her and held her and made love to her only her. The sun came up and she could see the mystery man who had made love to her all night.

Her moaning carried on into the living room as he tried to get comfortable on the couch.

"Ross, Oh Ross." he heard coming from the bedroom. Getting up to get a bottle of water, he slowly crept toward the closed door.

"Oh Ross, Please make love to me like you used to." the voice kept uttering unaware of anyone hearing her. Ross didn't know what to make of this. Looking at his watch, he figured it was just some sort of bad dream and went back to sleep.

The next morning , he was awoken by his cell phone. Looking at the number, he knew who it was immediately.

"Hey sweetie, yeah I 'm at Carol's , she was really in for a rough night with Susan leaving. I hope you don't mind but I didn't want her to be alone , so I spent the night on the couch. Today! That's great! I missed you too Rache, and I missed my little princess too. So I'll see you when you get back and tell Sandra I hope she feels better. Love you."

While he was still on the phone, he dialed Monica. "Hey Mon, yeah , oh it was a rough night. Carol and I will be coming over later cause I really don't want her to be alone right now. Maybe the suburbs will do her some good. Ben gets back tomorrow , so maybe she can spend the night there." he said. "Plus she needs some non threatening female company."

Ross hung up the phone when he heard Carol coming from her bedroom A little smile crept on her face. It was all coming back to her now.

"Ready for some breakfast?" she said cheerfully. Carol made her way to the kitchen and started to hum.

"Boy you seem to be in a better mood than last night." Ross smiled "I'm glad because you are going to Westchester to spend the night with Chandler and Monica. Getting out of the city will be one of the best things for you."

"I can't stay with you?" she asked. "You told me you would be there for me."

"Carol , Rachel called and she is coming home tonight. I haven't seen her for about a week and I …

Ross remembered that pain. He remembered when Carol moved his stuff out and he also remembered it was his friends who helped him through this difficult time. Maybe that is what Carol needed too.

"Carol , you can stay with us. Why don't you stay in Ben's room when he comes. " Ross thought as he spoke . "God I hope I am not making a big mistake." He hoped that Rachel would understand.


	3. Rachel Comes Home

Ross sat on the couch as Carol packed her things. He was a little bit unsure of what was going on. How could she one minute be so depressed and the next morning humming and singing? She slung her bag over her shoulder.

"All right , ready to go." she announced brightly. They left and found that Rachel had already returned home.

"Daddy," cried Emma , running into Ross's arms as he scooped her up and lifted her to his shoulders.

"Carol,hi." said Rachel unenthusiastically.

"Honey, can I see you in the kitchen?" said Ross as he brought Emma along. Rachel followed him in.

"Ross, what is she doing here?" said Rachel. "You do realize that is your ex wife don't you?"

"Honey, Susan just left her. She feels down and miserable and I know how that feels when someone you love leaves you." Ross said as he tried to make Rachel understand.

"You do realize that she was the one who made you feel that way. Ross, I don't you , you used to be married to the woman. You have a child by her." Rachel was trying to see things his way.

"Yeah, so ," Ross said defensively. "Monica took you in when you left Barry and had no where to go. Have a little compassion Rachel and it is just temporary, okay?"

"I don't know, I just have a feeling about this." Rachel said unsurely.

"Being around people will be the best thing in the world for her. She'll get her confidence back. I remember how much good being around the gang did for me when Carol left me, I know it will the do the same for her." Ross said as he put his arm around her.

"Alright she can stay, but the first sign I see it's a problem , she's gone." Rachel said as she threw her arms in the air.

"Thank you , sweetie." he said with a kiss as he left to tell Carol the good news.

"By the way, do you think Emily would like to stay here too?' Rachel said.

Ross turned to her and knocked his knuckles together , then he left.

"The man I love." Rachel said sarcastically.

Monica had decided to make a special dinner so Carol would feel better. Setting the table, Chandler felt he needed to address the sequence of events.

"Ross said it's just temporary, till she is feeling better." he said.

"I don't know call it a woman's intuition , but I think there is going to be a lot of problems. Ross has a tendency to try to solve everyone's problems and be the understanding one. This is going to cause problems between him and Rachel, I can tell." Monica said as she put the china on the table.

"The Queen of England is Ross' ex wife?" said Chandler as he noticed that Monica put the good china on the table.

"No I just thought that Carol would feel more special. But it's funny though how the plates I had are different than these plates." Monica said suspiciously.

"

"Monica , I am saying this for the interest and the benefit of all those concerned , butt out. It is none of your business." Chandler warned her.

"Someone is going to get hurt, and I don't want it to be my best friend or my brother." Monica yelled.

Chandler sighed and looked out the window. "Well look who it is. Now Monica, don't be a meddler. Let them solve this problem on their own."

Rachel had pushed Emma in her stroller as Ross led Carol up the path to the front porch.

"Monica , it's beautiful." sighed Carol.

Monica sniffed," Come here." She gave Carol a great big hug. "I am so sorry Carol. It is so rotten what Susan did to you. I want you to call me any time day or night if you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on."

"Monica!" Chandler ordered.

"I could always talk to you Monica. You were the best sister in law I could have. Ross has been so sweet and understanding for me. Rachel has been terrific as well, letting me stay with them . " Carol said as she continued her hug. "I want to get out of that apartment and I have no idea what Ben is going to do when he finds out she's gone."

"You can count on us Carol, you're family after all." smiled Monica. "Now why don't we eat something." she said as she walked into the house.

As they walked in the house, Carol had her arm around Ross. Rachel could feel it , something was definitely going on.


	4. Ben Has a Wish

Carol leafed through the magazine as she waited for Ben's flight to arrive. Ben had been with his Grandmother Willick and had no idea of the turmoil at home. He came through the gate with the typical look of a ten year old boy.

"Mom." he cried as she held her arms out. She clung onto him as she stroked his blonde hair. Tears had begun to pour again.

"I missed you Mom, I missed you and Dad and Mom Susan." he said innocently.

Carol took a deep breath and walked him to a couch. He might as well know the truth before there was any more confusion.

"Ben , I have something to tell you and it is not going to be easy." she started. "Sweetheart, Susan 's gone." she said as she put her head down and looked at the ground.

"Is gone mean dead?" said Ben as his eyes filled up with tears.

"God no Ben. Susan left me and now she is living with another woman. It is just like when Daddy and I split up." Carol said painfully.

"This is great ," smiled Ben. "Eddie's mother and her boyfriend split up and her and Eddie's father got back together. You and Dad can get together again." Ben said as he jumped up and down.

"Ben, we can't do that. Your father and I haven't lived together in years . I like women and I thought we went all through this. Besides , your father is in love with Rachel and they are getting married." Carol tried to explain.

"I like Rachel, but I love you mommy. You and Daddy should be married." Ben said sadly. "Don't you love Daddy?" he asked with a pout.

"Ben I will always love your father. He is a very special man, but I am not in love with him." Carol heard herself say the words. They were echoing through her mind. "He is in love with Rachel."

"Will I get to see Mom Susan again?" asked Ben. "And will I get another mom or will I get a dad?"

"Ben , I can't answer any of those questions. Right now , we are going to be staying with your father and living in the city. Now grab your stuff and we'll go." Carol said as she pulled the suitcase from baggage claim. Ross waited outside the terminal in the car. His face lit up when he saw his son.

"Dad." Ben said as he ran into his arms.

"So how was Grandma's ?"

"Cool, I got some new things. Are you and Mom getting back together since she isn't with Susan anymore?" Ben asked with a hopeful face.

Ross could see that this little boy was filled with hope of a reconciliation. He was just too young to understand that Carol and him were not in love. It was his hope that this transition would be smooth, and Rachel would go from being fun Aunt Rachel to his new stepmother.

"Ben, just because Mom and Susan broke up, doesn' t mean we are going to be this perfect little family . I have someone that I love very much and we are finally going to be married. I just hope that whether it is another woman or another man, your mother will find the happiness I have found." Ross said as he put his arm around his son. "Now you are coming to my place and I happen to know that Aunt Monica sent some cookies home with us ." he smiled.

"Yay, " screamed Ben as he jumped into the back seat.

"Thank you." said Carol as she looked at Ross.

"For what?"

"For just being someone to cry to, someone to lean on, someone to help me." she said as she put her hand on his.

"Carol , you are the mother of my only son. What we had once was very special. You know, I am so glad that we are still friends. My other ex wife I am not so lucky with." Ross said as he looked at the ground.

"You mean Emily?"

"Yeah if I ever set foot in London, she would probably sick the hounds on me or something." he laughed.

"You deserve this Ross, you really do. I knew that you were in love with her when we were married."

"You did?" he said surprised. "Please don't let it be something like I said her name while we were making love." he complained.

"Only you Ross, " she laughed. "Actually it was Monica. She said that you had been friends for years and you really liked her. Then when she came back after leaving Barry, I could just tell the way you talked about her, your eyes sparkled, you had this lilt in your voice. Part of me still wanted to be that woman."

"But you had Susan, and you said you loved women." he said confused.

"You were the first man I ever really loved. I knew you were special because how you told me I was the first. You were so nervous ,but yet you made love to me with the skill of a guy who had done it hundreds of times." Carol looked into his brown eyes. Her grasp around his hand got tighter. She leaned in toward him.

"Carol, what is this? Ten years ago, you left me for another woman. You shatter my life , and then tell me I have to share my first child with another woman. Now you are acting funny, Carol ? What in the hell is going on?" Ross said angrily.

"I may have loved Susan, I may be bi, who knows, but I do know this. I never stopped caring about you and you never stopped caring about me. It is very obvious to me." Carol leaned over again.

"Well please let me know, because it isn't to me." Ross almost screamed in an octave higher than his normal voice.

"Ross, I think I am still in love with you." she said as she pressed her lips to his. He had a million thoughts running through his head. He wanted to push away , he wanted to fight for the love he had lost time after time. But his lips gave way to hers as he put his hands on her shoulders and began to kiss back.

Ben stared through the back window and smiled. He knew it would happen his mom and dad still loved each other. But as the happy scene was going on, someone hailed a cab and then witnessed the scene.

Joey couldn't believe that he would see this on his trip to New York. He blinked his eyes and then he opened his mouth in surprise. It was Ross kissing his ex wife passionately. What was he going to do?


	5. Strange Bedfellows

Ross pushed Carol away when he realized what was going on. She immediately began to cry as the she sat on the curb.

"Now even you don't want me. Am I this horrible old toad or something?"

"Carol, come here." Ross said as he put out his arms and motioned for her to come into them. "That was mean and I am sorry. I just didn't know how to react. You are not ugly, you are beautiful. Plus you are intelligent . I would have never been attracted to you, if it wasn't for that."

"I don't know what came over me." she sighed. "I've just had all these feelings I don't know how to deal with."

"Carol, do you want to know why I can feel so much for you and why I want to help?" he said.

"Because you feel like I am where you were eleven years ago. You think that Susan destroyed me like I got the blame for destroying you." Carol said bitterly.

"I thought that I could trust women, then it happened. That breakup caused a lot of problems with me and my future dealings with women. I did things and women couldn't trust me. I lost three girlfriends because of it." he admitted.

"You lost them because you were still in love with your ex girlfriend. So don't try to pin all your women issues on me." she spouted.

"Carol this is crazy, we're both tired and I don't need to start fighting with another woman. Let's go home." he said as he walked toward the car. Quickly he turned around, "What happened today, we will discuss , but we will do it in private. I don't want Rachel finding out about this."

Carol sighed and got in the car. It was a long drive back to Manhattan.

Joey sat in the back of the cab as thoughts went through his mind. He couldn't even hear the driver in the back.

"I'm a big fan of yours, Mr. Tribbiani, watched you when you were on Days of our Lives." the female cabby said.

"Thanks, " Joey said as if his thoughts were off on another planet. He hadn't been told any different. Ross and Rachel were still together. Then why in the hell was Ross passionately kissing Carol? Then a thought went through his mind. What is this going to do to Rachel.? She loved him so much and they had Emma. Who was going to be there for Rachel? Was that someone meant to be him after all?

"Mr. Tribbiani? Did you say Westchester?' the cabby asked.

"Yeah I am staying with my friends , so you remember me as Dr. Drake Ramoray?" he smiled.

"Yeah could I have your aurograph?" she asked.

"No problem." Joey said as he opened his bag. The stuffed nose of Hugsy could be seen poking through the zipper. He pushed it back in there , "Get in there , they won't understand." he said to the penguin.

As Ross, Carol and Ben went up the front steps of the apartment building, Rachel was waiting at the front door.

"I am so excited. Joey's in town." she yelled. "Now we can ask him to marry us." she said wrapping her arms around Ross. This was a very public display of affection. Rachel was taking no chances and letting Carol see that her loss was Rachel's gain.

"Is he staying at a hotel?" Ross asked curiously.

"No he is staying in the Joey room at Monica and Chandler's . He just called from the airport . He was in town for an audition and decided to make it a visit. Isn't that great.? " she smiled.

"Yeah great, what airport?' Ross asked innocently as he looked at Carol. There was no way he could have seen them kissing. Ross was starting to feel guilty for what he did.

"I think Kennedy." Ross dropped Rachel from his arms. "Honey, why don't I call Monica and tell her we are on our way?" Rachel said as she went in the other room.

"Oh shit, Carol we are going to have a talk. If Joey saw us Carol, somehow it is going to get back to Rachel." Ross said panicking.

"What are the chances of that happening?" said Carol.

"Well I hope that no one saw and the chances of him being in that airport are slim, so maybe we are good. But we are still going to have to talk." Ross said. "Ben we're going to Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler's , Uncle Joey's in town."

Ben ran for his room. Ross hoped that this wasn't going to blow up in his face. Actually he prayed it.


End file.
